I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
