Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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