I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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