I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
being pregnant is like rehab
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
