Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
