Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
