How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
