thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
