well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
