Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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