maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
