He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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