I must be too annoying 4 u.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
