No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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