How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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