but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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