while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
