Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
