on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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