I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize