we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
