how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
