I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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