When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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