so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
