Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
