At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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