the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
