Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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