i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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