How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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