She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
