I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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