I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
