Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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