Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
