Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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