i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
