she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
