Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
