Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
