hell yes lets make some ravioli
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You're like the curious george of whores
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
