The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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