all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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