wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
