I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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