wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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