Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're so nebulous sometimes
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
