My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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