im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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