I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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