Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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