I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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