Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
