The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
bring money and cleavage
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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